My mind won’t stop spinning, as it’s currently full of uncertainty, overwhelming me with so much doubt
This is something I can’t do all alone, but maybe with a little help, I just might find a permanent way out
I carry so much remorse, guilt, and a lot of shame, for all the poor choices, and bad decisions I have made
How does someone truly start life over, while they are forced to wear a stigma, that never seems to fade
Haunted by all the memories of my evil past, constantly seeing reminders, of all the bridges that I burnt
I don’t want to repeat my past mistakes, instead using them, and let them be lessons, that I’ve learnt
I truly want my life to change, maybe find someone out there, that’s willing to give me a fighting chance
I need to somehow find a way, that I can move forward, so I can evolve from my current circumstance
With the institution now behind me my new life starts right now
So many changes must be made but just not exactly sure on how
I need to leave that old life behind me when I go to bed tonight
I’m in the middle of my journey travelling from darkness into light
Trying to find my new place in this unfamiliar world, is so extremely hard, as it fills me full of fear
I have finally decided to walk a new path, but just exactly how to navigate it, still remains unclear
A solid foundation must first be built, or all that’s good will then crumble, and just come crashing on in
Full of fear that I might slip from this path, and fall back into that ditch, that’s filled with so much evil sin
Sad to say but I am beginning to realize, that some parts of our society, can be unforgiving and wickedly cold
Which makes it extremely hard for some, to find and regain their precious soul, that they once willingly sold
Just how do I leave my past behind me, ensuring I never again, find myself on that very slippery slope
With the right help and guidance, a promising future can be built, one with meaning, purpose, and hope
With the institution now behind me my new life starts right now
So many changes must be made but just not exactly sure on how
I need to leave that old life behind me when I go to bed tonight
I’m in the middle of my journey travelling from darkness into light
“I was worried about the transition. I forgot what it was like to walk down the sidewalk with cars beside me. The small things people don’t think about forgetting.
“I needed support post-incarceration and treatment and to be surrounded by people who were going through the exact same thing.”
“Every time I got out, the only people there for me were my using and criminal friends. Everyone else gave up on me.”
“It was so easy to go back into isolating myself and forgetting about running my own program. I found I wasn’t safe where I was living and I didn’t know where to go. Getting support from others who have been there made it easier, I didn’t have to keep retelling my story.”
“Going to treatment post-incarceration is what saved me. But it’s hard to keep at it on my own.”
“When I got out , emotions were high. I often thought about how to cheat the system as soon as life got tough. There’s always someone out there to push product on you. As soon as you get out and realize your conditions, you lose your sense of freedom.”